Friday, April 27, 2012

My bachelor

I have a new appreciation for those crying, blubbering idiots on The Bachelor. You know the ones. The girls that cry so hard, they are snubbing in the limo. The ones that hyperventilate. The ones that forgo their limo ride home & exit in the back of the ambulance. THOSE girls. I could be one of them.

I think if you are willing to go on that show & be in a bikini on national television, you already possess a tiny bit of cray~cray. So, multiply that by 100 & you have these girls.

These girls sit around a house with no tv, no radio, no internet & no job to occupy their brain. So, there they sit….thinking, analyzing, scheming about this guy & daydreaming about where their wedding will be & if Colin Cowie will plan it. Telling themselves 500 times a day, I LOVE him, I l-o-v-e him, I love HIM, I think I may LOVE him?! There you have it. And most importantly, they don’t have their sister or their best friend there to say…..”you do NOT love him. You don’t even know him….what does he order on his pizza? Seeeeeeee…you don’t love him!”
There, I said it. My name is Allison, I’m single, 30+ year old that has a new fascination with online dating. Online dating is my “bachelor”. It’s VERY easy to get obsessed with it. Checking profiles, looking at pictures, checking to see whose viewed your profile, daily matches, “singled out” just for you, winks, updating your own pictures, picturing your future children….SEE, the crazeee just came out! It definitely has it’s obsessive qualities. Thankfully, I have tv, radio, internet, work & my sister and girlfriends to snap me out of my potential psycho addiction! PUT DOWN THE MOBILE APP.

I’ve dabbled in the online dating previously, but never really got “into it”. No, I’m not in fake love with anyone…but I’m in love with the process this go around. Many people have suggested I try it…you know EVERYONE has a story, a girl I work with; well her cousin met a guy online and they married in 3 months and they are SO in love. You ALL have a story.

This go around, I have to give all the credit to Ryan. She suggested I try Match this time. And we had a long talk about broadening my horizons when it comes to race. And I’m glad she was willing to be real with me & really make me think about WHY, I had made the selections I did. She certainly wasn’t trying to talk me into or out of, dating a certain race, but just wanted me to have convictions and know why I checked the box, that I checked. I broadened my options & have had A LOT more communication because of it. And for that I am grateful.

I’m not sure why I had only been open to Caucasians in the past. I guess because that’s what’s been modeled before me? But when I really thought about it, I came to realize the real reason why I was hesitant. The REAL reason….is other peoples perception. What will OTHER people think? Will it make people un-comfortable? Will the babies ask why he has brown skin or slanted eyes? Will my older family members (who were around before desegregation) be ashamed? Will people at church, whisper? Will Mom be worried that her friends might think bad of me? Will my fictitious children be treated differently by other people, because their parents ancestors originated from 2 different continents? All those scenarios plus more played through my mind.

I made a very conscious decision for myself. I have a long list of non-negotiable when it comes to choosing a mate (seems to get longer by the year); but I’m not going to allow my fear of what other people may think about me, be on that list.

And if I ever make it onto the real bachelor…I will be the one breathing in & out of the brown paper bag & mumbling…..but I LOVE him!